Happy 2014 - Sort Of

Happy 2014, everyone.

I've been away from this space for exactly one year. I guess I needed a long break. It is hard seeing my beloved girls getting older and slower, so I really didn't feel like I had anything worth while to share.

2013 didn't include very much in the way of exciting outings or adventures for my fur babies. Seka went to the chiropractor every two weeks. Roxy went on a couple of walking dates with our neighbor's dog. We went to the beach in April with the girls in tow and enjoyed running in the sand. Seka and I spent a second year as the READing Dog team at a local elementary school. I left the girls at Manyhounds Inn for 15 days this summer while we drove up the east coast and have sworn I will never be separated from them again for that long. I started buying raw dog food from a local butcher and the girls have become celebrities when we go pick up the goods.

See - nothing too exciting. In fact, our Facebook page is full of pictures of the girls sleeping on the sofa. We've become a retirement home.

Then in December, Seka started limping on her front right leg. And like any greyhound mom, I immediately got sick to my stomach, even though thanks to the arthritis in her back and back legs she has had limping episodes frequently that go away. After our chiropractor gave her an adjustment and we didn't see any improvement, I went in for x-rays.

When Dr. Hottie took her back for x-rays, I somehow knew what they would show. Call it mother's intuition. I was right. Osteosarcoma, in the right front leg. After a review by an oncologist at OSU, Seka officially had her cancer card.

We had no treatment options. Her deformed back hip and arthritis combo didn't make her a candidate for amputation. And without amputation, chemo is pointless. Thank goodness I have a great chiropractor/holistic vet in our
life and she has been a blessing in helping me find the right supplements and adjust her diet to give her as much time as we possibly can.

What I hate more than anything is not knowing how advanced it is or how long we have. It's like walking around in a dark room with a hole in the floor. You know you're eventually going to fall in it, but you don't know when it will happen.

What I'm most afraid of more than anything is a pathologic break. I don't want that for her. I don't want that for us.

I wish more than anything that I could explain to her what was going on. Why mommy cuddles her and cries a little each day. Why she now has to have weird powered stuff in her food. Why she has to go out on a leash instead of running after squirrels in the back yard with Roxy.

So I've come back to this space to share our journey - however long that might be. Writing has always been a comfort to me. I hope it doesn't let me down when I need it the most.