Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Chicken Sit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why is this even a joke? The last time this was funny it must have been the early 1900s, where little girls with Polly Anna curls pranced around in pantaloons and mothers sat under parasols giggling at the crazy idea of a chicken walking across the road. I would think that back in the "olden days" most chickens were surely free-range and I'm sure that they were flying around and crossing the unpaved roads all the time. Someone, please explain to me why this might be funny.

Today I took on the task of "Chicken Tender." Yes, I gave myself this title. I took care of a friend's newly acquired chickens while he and his family were out of town on a fishing trip. I have very little experience with poultry, except in the kitchen, but I do love to go to the poultry world exhibit at the fair each fall where they show you how chicken is grown and eventually gets to your table. The walk-through display is wonderful, but it loses it's effect in the middle when they let you hold baby chicks and love on them. I always want to put one in my pocket and run. But what would I do with it when I'm riding the Tilt-a-Whirl?

Do not fear, the chickens I tended to tonight will not be on the table. These chickens are uppity chickens. They live in an uppity hen house and eat uppity organic food. They even have their own guard dog, Pearl (an American bull dog mix of some sort). The momma and seven biddies came from the barn where I board my horse. One day soon they will be laying all sorts of eggs and I'll have farm fresh organic eggs to enjoy, thanks to having friends with uppity hens.

A quick update on my corn dog. Thanks to some helpful SEGA readers, I used a tried and true home remedy - corn remover and duct tape. Believe it or not, it worked! In fact, having the duct tape over the offending pads helped her walk a bit better. I put the corn remover on the corn and covered up the whole pad with duct tape and left it until the tape fell off. When the tape fell off, the corn was loose enough to peel off too. I've ordered a pair of Thera-Paws for her back feet to help her stay comfortable when we are out walking. Humiliating video to come as she learns to walk in them.

I leave you with a joke.
Where do uppity chickens stay?
The Holiday Hen!
Chicken jokes really aren't all that funny.


Patti said...

The Holiday Hen, for Pete's Sake! Got me to laughing though! Surely you didn't bring the uppity chicken and her biddies to your home? They'd last all of two seconds at my place with my girls! BTW, we determined at Petsmart the other day that Lucy is absolutely not mouse tolerant! If she could have knocked over that aquarium they were in, she would have, then I'm sure she would have gobbled them down! UGH!!

IHateToast said...

i heard about duct tape and corns. for people. so cool. let me get this straight. corn remover, duct tape over whole pad until it wears off?

ooooh, i'm getting coloured duct tape!

i've housesat for uppity chooks before. hilarious. i love the sound they make when they've laid an egg. so proud. bunch of cluck ups!

you'll love those eggs. they are different.

pattysea said...

Happy to hear my "Granddog" is doing better with her corn(dog).
Locally, Media are still rehashing the Patriots loss; specifically, the red sweatshirt worn by Coach B AND why the hell the game plan wasn't changed at half time when it was obvious that Brady was getting the crap kicked out of him.
So, on we go with Roger Clemens and steroids and Spring Training.
It's always something!!!

Trina said...

Glad to hear the corn remedy worked!
Chicken Tender...that is funny. Chicken jokes..not so much. ;-)

Denise said...

OK, I wanna know why the horse never gets any blog time?? :-(

p.s thanks for the compliment on Spooky's portrait:-)

Randilyn said...

Good words.