Friday, November 19, 2010

We're Not Snobs, We're Just Better than You

High school cliques aren't anything new. Popular kids, jocks, nerds, weirdos - they are all still a part of school today as they were 20 years ago. I certainly wasn't popular or a jock. I hung out with the theatre, band, chorus geeks. Thanks to Glee, now those kids are cool. 

In my house, we have cliques too - Skinny Bitches and Shorties. It's no shock that my girls are total dog snobs. Unless you're a greyhound, they lack all interest in you and your canine ways. I thought that after the little ones had been here for a couple of months, they may begin to accept them into their pack, but the silent treatment continues. In fact, they have made a list of why they, the greyhounds, are far superior. I'm assuming they mean superior to other dogs, although Seka may have implied that I'm included in this list too.

Seka & Roxy's List of Why We're Better
  1. We only bark when there's something to bark for like going potty or reminding our mommy that it is time to eat. All other barking is a waste of energy.
  2. Digging is for short dogs who like to get dirty. We only dig when we want to get our mommy's attention.
  3. We smell like roses. Little dogs just smell.
  4. Trash is best left in the trash can, not dragged about our living quarters and chewed on. 
  5. Daytime is best spent getting beauty rest, not running about, patrolling the grounds. That's what humans are for.
  6. Beards are for Santa, not dogs. Especially dogs who drink a lot of water and get dirt in the communal water bowl.
  7. Chasing cats, squirrels and bunnies is an art form and should only be done if you have a chance to actually catch it.
  8. We do not drag the outdoors inside the house. Leaves, sticks, dirt clods, and mud belong outside. 
  9. Just because there are people walking by our house does not mean they are coming to see us. You should only alert humans when visitors are at our door. 
  10. Tug of war is for brutes. If you stare at a human long enough, they will just give it to you. 
I guess this is their version of a slam book, although they haven't started naming names yet, but I'm sure that will happen eventually.


Trina said...

I like number 10..Cali has perfected the 'stare until I get what I want' routine.

Maria Peters said...


Terri said...

wow - it's like Sabrina wrote that!

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaa ha ha! Are you sure Blueberry and Bunny didn't help them with that list?

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

Are these new pups for you?

IHateToast said...

See, this is what stinks about losing free time. How did I miss that you went schnauzie on us?
My dad and stepmum have a mini-schnauzer and an iggi. They're referred to as the sensible German and the Italian slut. Sorry.

Maybe your snobs will lower their guard when you're not looking. Geez, they're cute.