Pie in the Sky

I've got a few recipes up my sleeve that make me look like a genius in the kitchen. In no particular order: 
1. my mother-in-law's meatballs
2. my sister's crock pot chicken & dumplings
3. my mother's lasagna

No shock, all three recipes actually belong to someone else and I just borrow their awesomeness. No one will ever say - "Heather's Crap Baked in the Oven makes me look like I should be on Top Chef." I can be certain of that.

This week, I've been having fun with two of my favorite aunts and my mom in the mountains of North Carolina. Days are spent visiting old folks who are still hanging around Boone. Evenings are spent cooking, drinking wine and laughing at just about everything. Tonight was no exception.

While I was looking like a genius in the kitchen, preparing my mother-in-law's meatballs and sauce, my aunt started talking about a pie her mother made that used Ritz crackers, but tasted like apple pie. I called B.S. on this. A Google consultation proved that there is indeed an apple phenomenon created by a whole bunch of sugar, a pie crust and some buttery crackers.

Well, it just so happened that I had a box of Ritz crackers (the secret ingredient in the meatballs) just waiting to be used up. Someone grabbed their car keys and scooted off to the grocery and came back with a pie crust. You know what happened next...

When it went into the oven it looked like a pie - not an apple pie, but some sort of pie.

When it came out of the oven, it smelled like a freaking apple pie. But that's just the smell of the cinnamon, right?

When we sliced it, it looked like an apple pie. No lie.

When you taste it - Holy Shit! It's Apple Pie.

We know that this dessert has been called a few different things since the mid-19th century when it was first published by the early American pioneers. I think my profanity-laden exclamation after my first taste prompted a discussion of what someone might have said when they first took a bite throughout the years...

1950s - Oh, my! That's apple pie
1960s - Dude, that's apple pie
1970s - What have you been smokin', that's apple pie
1980s - Like, that's totally apple pie-like.
1990s - Well, I guess it depends on how you define apples... pie
2000s - E-mail me that recipe for apple pie
2012s - Holy Shit! It's apple pie (my personal favorite because it is exactly what you'll be thinking when you taste it)

Give it a try. If it makes you look like a Food Network star, all the better.

Mock Apple Pie (a.k.a. Heather's Holy Shit, It's Apple Pie!)
Ingredients:
2 cups of sugar
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 3/4 cups water
2 tbsp lemon juice and zest from that lemon
1 package of ready-to-use refrigerated pie crust (2 crusts)
36 RITZ Crackers, coarsely broken
2 tbsp butter or margarine, cut into small pieces
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Directions:
Mix sugar and cream of tartar in a medium saucepan. Gradually stir in water. Bring to boil on high heat.  Then simmer on low heat for 5 minutes or until the mixture is reduced to 1.5 cups. Stir in zest and juice; cool for 30 minutes.

Pre-heat oven to 425ºF. Roll out one of the pie crusts and place in 9-inch pie plate. Put cracker crumbs in the crust. Pour sugar syrup over crumbs and top with butter and cinnamon.

Roll out the remaining crust and place over the pie. Seal and flue the edges. Cut several slits in the top of the crust to permit steam to escape.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until golden brown. Cool before serving.

Breakdown

When I'm getting ready to go out of town I make lots of lists. Chores to do in the house. Things to gather for the dogs. Stuff to pack for the cats. Things to tell the house sitter. Clothes to pack for myself. Despite all of the lists I usually forget something. And while throwing out the milk that would go bad while I'm gone was on my list - throwing out everything in the fridge and freezer was not.

This is the second time since we purchased the fridge 11 years ago that it has crapped out on us. The first time I tried to salvage as much as I could in a giant cooler, but ended up throwing away everything anyway. This time, I didn't have a choice. With the exception of three packs of chicken backs still frozen enough for the dogs, most everything was toast. I guess when it's 117 degrees out, things don't last long in the ice box no matter how cool you keep your house.

We hadn't restocked the fridge since our Chicago trip eight days ago and we rarely keep anything in the freezer other than dog food and a few frozen dinners. So trashing everything wasn't as painful as it could have been. And at least it happened while I was still here and not tomorrow when everything would stink up the place after a week without cold. Now it will just stink up the trash can for the next week. I won't be here to smell it. I hope the raccoons leave it alone.

The girls did their part in helping clean out the fridge. I stuffed their Kongs with some roast beef, which kept them busy and their nose out of the trash as I cleaned. Roxy is so polite I can just hand her slices without fear of losing my finger. Seka on the other hand, may not have many teeth, but she still finds a way to chomp on my fingers.

Greyt Readers

I believe that every dog has a purpose. Some of them are agility superstars. Others are expressive actors. A few are so obedient they earn ribbons for their attentiveness. My girls are none of these - although we've tried our hand a couple of these activities. It's just not in their blood.

But making people feel good, that's something Seka has always excelled at. She's always been calm, sweet and curious about people in general. She's respectful of an individuals space and she's pretty much bomb-proof when it comes to sounds. It didn't take me long to realize she would be a great therapy dog and I got her certified about a year after her gotcha day.

For a couple of years, we did therapy visits at nursing homes and children's hospitals a few times a month. Seka loved her nursing home visits and was always eager to lead me down the halls to her favorite residents. No shock, these were the same women who often saved their bacon from lunch to sneak to her.

When Seka's corns started to get really bad, we had to reduce our visits and eventually we took a break all together and let our TDI certification lapse. She was just so uncomfortable on her feet and no amount of pain meds or Therapaws helped her attitude - and no one wants a therapy dog with a bad attitude. I thought her days as a therapy dog were over. That was until I heard about ReadingPAWS.

ReadingPAWS is a reading support program aimed at helping to improve reading comprehension and vocabulary. The idea is pretty simple - have a struggling reader practice their reading aloud to a non-threatening audience. Certainly, their classmates, teacher and often their parents don't fall into that non-threatening category. But a crazy lady with a dog certainly does. And that's where the magic happens - reading to a dog improves their confidence, allows the students to practice without fear of ridicule and have a positive experience with reading - all thanks to the dog.

Seka's best trick is laying down and taking a nap. And since one of the characteristics of a ReadingPAWS dog is being relaxed for 20 minutes at a time - it sounded like a great fit for us. We went back through the Therapy Dog certification process and a half-day ReadingPAWS training and found a match with a local elementary school where for the last four months we've been tutoring four young readers weekly.

It certainly is amazing to see the progress these second graders have made since January. On our first couple of visits I could barely hear one young man. By the end of the year, he skipped part of field day (something I found shocking for a 9 year old boy who loves P.E.) to read to Seka at a volume that the whole library can hear. Another student stuttered while reading aloud and struggled with fluency. But if she petted Seka with one hand and followed along with her other, she was flawless.

School is out for the summer starting on Thursday and my readers are taking home a "pawtographed" book with a picture of them with Seka placed snugly inside. Our readers even signed Seka's favorite book for her.

ReadingPAWS is an incredibly rewarding experience. Seka looks forward to going to "work" every week. If you can't volunteer at a school, you can volunteer at a library on a monthly basis or at a kids camp or at a church. Check out ReadingPAWS for more information on programs in your area or how to start one yourself.

Oh - and if anyone has any ideas for a purpose for a dog that might be classified as a mental patient, Roxy is looking for some ideas.

Pacifier

My girls are with me all day while I work. 99.9% of the time they are quiet and sleep all day long - like good greyhounds should. They are no bother and you wouldn't even know they are there. Of course it's the .1% when they bark, squeak toys, want to play or decide it is time to love on them that becomes the problem and it always seems to happen when I am on a conference call. It's not cool when you are on the phone to some hot shot in NYC and Roxy decides it is time to stretch her legs and run a few laps with her squeaky squirrel in her mouth. 

I have stuffed and frozen Kongs at the ready to give to them to ensure their cooperation for the 30 minutes I'm on the phone. Occasionally a call will last a couple of hours. Believe me, I do everything in my power to prevent long-haul calls, but they happen. For those marathon calls, I pull out the secret weapon - empty peanut butter jars. 

I love peanut butter. We go through a lot of it between the dogs and myself. Instead of tossing a jar when it is empty, I save it so the dogs can keep themselves busy licking it clean while I am on those long calls. A bomb could go off in the middle of the room and they wouldn't budge. Well, maybe they would, but they would take their jars with them.

He's Back.....

It is the first sign that cold weather is over - the return of Bruce! He's kinda like our own personal groundhog with wings - and rabies.

This is the earliest Bruce has ever shown up, so I guess the AC is permanently switched to on. It also appears Bruce brought home a girlfriend for us to meet. I've not seen her in all her glory yet, but you can see her wings just at the top left of this picture. She must be the shy type. This isn't the first time Bruce has brought home a girl, but in true billionaire, superhero fashion, he never keeps the girls around for long!

May the Force Be With Roo

I will save my excitement for the Super Bowl until after Sunday when the Patriots (fingers crossed) are officially in the game. Until then, many companies are sneaking previews of some of their Super Bowl commercials on You Tube. Today, I saw VW's, The Bark Side. 

Being an owner of two dogs who really don't bark - not even group roos - the barking was a bit annoying to me. But please wait until the end for the cherry on top!

I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what this has to do with VW, other than they probably paid out the nose for Star Wars rights three years ago and have to use it even if they don't want to. And I will admit that I didn't catch on that they were barking the Stormtrooper Theme until the video was playing in the background as I typed this post. But that last little bark at the end and the schnauzer dressed like an Ewok totally makes this worth the one minute watch.

Random Days of Christmas: Day 12

Day 12: Ornamental Objects

I have always felt like holding a Christmas ornament is like holding a memory in your hand. One of my favorite parts of Christmas growing up was the trip to the Hallmark store where my sister and I could select one ornament each that would represent "us" for that year. Whether it was Miss Piggy or a cheerleading bunny (both of which I still have and hang on my tree), those ornaments represented an interest at that point in our lives. One year I picked a penguin on a block of ice. I have no idea what that was supposed to represent for 1982.

Our tree holds many of my childhood ornaments as well as those from our many travels. I have a shell from Aruba, the Golden Gate Bridge, Hawaiian flip flops, and of course numerous Red Sox ornaments (thanks to Kev's students).

Of course our babies are all depicted on our tree as well. I cry a little each time I hang Boo Radley and Nomie's ornaments on our tree. Laugh as I hang Sam's ornament - one that I got in 1985 - as it is a bit cross eyed, just like she is. Clyde has a saddle, complete with stirrups. Good greyhound ornaments are harder to find. Seka's ornament looks just like her. Roxy, is depicted in pewter.

Our collection grows every year. I'm always on the lookout for new animal oriented ornaments in the hopes that one day we can have an entire tree dedicated to our babies.

Random Days of Christmas: Day 7

Day 7: Greyhound Mayhem

We stopped crating the girls about a year ago. It started out leaving them out for about 10 minutes at a time, earning their trust little by little. On days when I'm on the road for work and Kev is out of the house for long periods of time, they still get some crate time just to keep Roxy in check.

But, as you can see, Roxy got bored while we were at dinner the other night and decided that the newspaper can be recycled much easier when pre-shredded and my Red Sox visor looks way better with teeth marks.

You know the holidays are stressful. Ripping something to shreds (or beating up your sister) makes you feel better.

Random Days of Christmas: Day 6

Day 6: Oh, the Greyhound and the Kitty Can Be Friends

Emma is 14 years old and continues to grow more stubborn every day. She may lack a tail, but she has a lot of attitude and isn't afraid to show it. Lately, Emma has decided that Roxy is her personal heating pad. No matter where Roxy beds down, Emma is right behind waiting to make her nest cuddled up right next to her.

At first there were some grumbles on Roxy's part. She doesn't like anyone in her face - that includes me and certainly not a kitty. But for some reason she has decided that Emma isn't too much of a bother and I think she actually likes the added warmth the little fur ball provides.

As you can see, humans have been officially removed from the sofa and all is right in the world.

Random Days of Christmas: Day 5

Day 5: Sam Loves Dry Cleaning Bags

Kevin has exactly 58 dress shirts in his closet. They are all different colors and patterns and he never wears the same shirt twice. After he gets home from school, he places the used shirt into the dry cleaning pile that he takes to our friends at Love Your Clothes Dry Cleaning once every 3 months. This always freaks them out that we have 58 pieces of clothing to be cleaned at once. We pick up every shirt he owns three days later and the cycle starts all over again.

When removing 20 or so dry cleaning bags before putting the shirts in the closet, it never fails that Sam buries herself in the bags as deep as she possibly can. I have to work my way into her little kitten fort to be sure she has a hole to breath out of. I guess the dry cleaning chemicals are like cat nip to her. She is a Siamese so there's really no explaining her behavior.

Random Days of Christmas: Day 4

Day 4: 2 Broke Girls Love Greyhounds

If you've not checked out the new CBS comedy 2 Broke Girls, you're missing out on one of the funniest shows on television right now. If you like tongue-in-cheek humor, double entendre, and genuine characters this show is for you.

I was pretty psyched last Monday night when the two main characters go into a jewelry store and the set was decorated with a huge picture of a greyhound in a diamond collar. Greyhounds show up in the elevator scene too.

I mean if you have a golden retriever, you can't get excited when you see one used on TV or in a movie - right? When greyhounds appear on the screen, I like to think some greyhound-lover is working on that show or movie and went the extra mile to give us greyhound owners a secret shout out.

Random Days of Christmas: Day 2

Day 2: Trent Reznor Rocks
Oscar-winning composer, Trent Reznor raises money for greyhound rescue auctioning off Nine Inch Nails memorabilia on Ebay. That's right, Trent Reznor, has greyhounds and uses his fame and the cult-like following of his band to give back to greyhounds. If you follow him on twitter (@trent_reznor) he often posts pictures of his dogs and encourages his followers to adopt a greyhound.

I will admit that I was never a Nine Inch Nails fan. I mean the scary kid who smoked dope and wore all black to school sported a NIN t-shirt frequently. To be fair this was my only reference and I didn't really fit the NIN demographic. But his work on The Social Network (for which he won an Oscar for best original score) and his lates work on Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (out next week), is exceptional.

So, follow Trent Reznor on twitter and support his work for greyhound rescue. Maybe when he wins his Oscar in 2012 he will give greyhounds a shout out in his acceptance speech.

Survivor

If you are a fan of the reality-television shows Survivor and Big Brother, like I am, you know all about the crazy challenges they put contestants through to test their endurance. Stand on a four inch platform while it spins in melted butter - sure no problem. Balance on one leg on a fence post in 1000 degree heat - no worries. Hold 10 plates above your head for as long as you can - you betcha'. I'm unsure how these shows could come up with anything else for people to do for extended periods of time, but there are some sadistic creative people who come up with new stuff year in and  year out.

This little guy was on his on private game show tonight in our pool. Who knows how long he was balancing on a piece of a broken pool step in our back yard?

I'm sure he leaned in a little too far to get a drink at some point during the day or last night. He was at least smart enough to make it to something to stand on out of the water. I bet he wished for a mouse life jacket more than once while he was on there.

We tried to keep him out of the water when we scooped him up with the skimmer net, but fear made him swim for his life. I was able to capture a few of pictures of him doing the mouse-paddle.

He was so cute. I really wanted to touch him, but like all the other adorable wildlife that somehow finds its way into our yard, I thought he might have rabies. Why does everything cute have rabies?

Needless to say, after being plucked out of the pool and placed safely in the grass, he sat there totally still. I thought he might have had a heart attack (who knows if he was conditioned for that sort of swimming - he was bit plump), but once he got his wits about him and realized he didn't have to stand on a half-inch sliver of plastic for safety, he ran as fast as he could into the safety of the under brush.

I guess he won the mouse equivalent of $1,000,000 - life. Now that's a real Survivor.

Cinephile

I love a good film just about as much as anything. I love the experience of sitting in a cold, dark theater with other people experiencing the same emotions at the same time. I love talking about a great film with friends over a drink. I love it when a film has a greyhound in it.

I never quite understand why greyhounds aren't used more often in movies. They are beautiful. They are skinny. They like to sit around and do nothing. They are like little movie stars in fur coats (real fur at that). Maybe they don't work well with other divas?

I was really excited to see that Seth Rogen's new film, 50/50, has a greyhound in it. This film is based on Rogen's real life and relationship with his best friend who was diagnosed with cancer and how a guys help each other through diagnosis and treatment. I have no idea if his friend really got a greyhound or why Rogen chose our fabulous breed for the film, but the name Skeletor is a pretty funny, skinny dog name.

Check out this clip of when Skeletor comes home:

Skeletor the Healing DogShawn Williamson, Jonathan Levine

Other recent movies where you can catch a greyhound glimpse:

Charlie Wilson's War
Young Victoria
Sunshine State
Good Will Hunting

I know there are several old movies that feature greys as well. Let's see how many we can come up with shall we? I'll create a running list in the sidebar with links to these grey-friendly flicks!

Friday Funnies

Has anyone else had the longest week on record? I'm so happy to have an extra day this weekend, so in celebration I share with you a Looney Tunes classic. I wish the greyhound didn't look so mean and those dogs certainly shouldn't be eating so close to race time, but I need to remember the Road Runner never died after falling off the cliff. Enjoy!

So Thin. So Elegant - Art Experts Say So

I travel to New York at least four times a year on business and I always love to see dogs walking with their owners in the city. In my numerous trips, I've never seen a greyhound on the city streets. I guess I need to track down where the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art's curator of Nineteenth-century, modern and contemporary art, Gary Tinterow, lives. I'm sure it's fabulous - and even more fabulous because he is a greyhound owner.

This piece, posted on The Met's website, is narrated by Mr. Tinterow and shows amazing works of art featuring greyhounds throughout history. As all things at The Met - this three minutes is incredibly fabulous and a must watch for any greyhound historian.

I have to admit, I love that this was produced by The Met. It only solidifies what all greyhound owners know - our dogs are timeless works of art. Enjoy.

Summer Sun

My friend Denise posted this pic of her greyhound, Peanut - aka The Nut, soaking up the summer sun today. It make me laugh in the middle of a very busy afternoon and I just had to share it. Move over Spuds MacKenzie, here comes The Nut!

Raw Rules!

The Mountain Hounds greyhound gathering in Gatlinburg, TN, starts tomorrow. One of the fun parts about any gathering weekend (besides the wine on the balcony with great girls) is attending seminars that are geared to crazy greyhound people. Yeah, I'm a school nerd, so sitting in a class about massaging your greyhound or basic greyhound first aid is exciting to me - don't judge. Even more exciting (and flattering) is I've been asked to conduct a seminar on Saturday morning for beginning raw feeders.

If you're a regular reader, you know I started feeding BARF/raw three years ago and have never looked back. This unique way of feeding bases the dog's diet on wild dogs and/or wolves. As the name suggests, the meat is raw - never cooked - and bones are a part of the daily menu. This freaks a lot of people out, but for those of us who feed this way, we wouldn't go back to commercial kibble even if it was free.

And because I'm one of the few seminar junkies at these things, I'm not beyond a little bribery to increase my attendance. So, tonight I sat down at my embroidery machine and created these little Raw Rules! feeding towels. There will be eight lucky winners on Saturday morning. So, if you're attending Mountain Hounds and you want to learn more about raw feeding, join me at 9:30a just outside of the vending area.

I feel it is only fair for my readers to receive a little inside information. So to win a towel you've got to get a sheet with color - and that color is pink of course! See you guys there.

The Most Interesting Man in the World Loves Greyhounds

The latest in the Most Interesting Man in the World series includes serious screen time for a pack of greyhounds. In the first 10 seconds of this Dos Equis commercial there are a number of handsom needle noses. The hound that scored the close up reminds me of Jen's Travis.

Enjoy and remember: "stay thirsty my friends."




Update: I've been informed that the shot is actually a mix of greys and whippets and the close up is actually a whippet named Poly. Rumor has it, it took 10 hours on set to get that 10 seconds in the commercial. You know that it must have been like putting bullfrogs in a wheelbarrow for those 10 hours.

Bruce is Back

It is the first sign that hot weather is here to stay. Bruce has arrived.

The cool thing about Bruce (Bruce as in Bruce Wayne), he chills alone. He's a rogue bat. The black sheep of his bat family. This is the fourth summer he has returned. He'll be hanging out until at least October. I always have to check myself so that I don't reach up and pat his little head.