Take Greeter Off Her List of Career Choices

Many older people decide that after they retire, they need something to do to keep busy. A few of the "big box stores" hire retirees who are supposed to be extra friendly and helpful to greet you at the door with a big smile. Great idea (in theory).

My local Walmart has a great greeter. He's friendly. He's always smiling. He'll get your buggy (shopping cart, carriage, whatever you call it based on the part of the country/world you're in) for you when you walk in the door. He asks you how your day is. And he doesn't frisk you if you walk out of the store with a giant package of toilet paper on the bottom of your buggy, demanding to know if you've paid for it. I guess he realizes that if you're going to go to the trouble of stealing something that A: you wouldn't take something so big that it would require you to put it in plain view for all the world to see as you take it out of the store and B: it wouldn't be toilet paper. But I guess as a Walmart Greeter, you see lots of weird things. I wonder if there's an online group especially for Walmart Greeters to share their stories?

I think the GBD can take greeter off the short list of post-retirement employment opportunities after her performance at Saturday's Meet-n-Greet. Seka, in full princess mode, chose to lay on a bed provided by another greyhound who was up and doing his job. It wouldn't have been all that bad if she bothered to get up when people wanted to pet her, but no. She required all potential adopters and inquiring minds to approach her and bend down to pet Her Majesty. How embarrassing. I tried to cover it up by giving some spill about how they are laid back, easy going dogs - literally pointing to her lounge-like behavior as an example. I don't know if it worked.

Now, the GBD is normally pretty reserved. She's not an in-your-face kind of dog - ever. And she usually looks to me before allowing a stranger to pet her, something that I prefer since I know not everyone loves wet kisses. But, for the love of biscuits! Get up and act like you like people. We're at a Meet-n-Greet for goodness sake. Binder, however, did a great job showing what lovers big boys can be. And he did introduce Seka to gerbil television. I think they stood in front of those cages and watched the rodents for 15 minutes straight. But I think there's a good chance that we may not be invited back to participate after Saturday's lack of interaction.

So I think that I can let my Walmart Greeter know that his job is safe. There is no way ol' Wally World will be hiring the GBD any time soon. She might have a hard time without opposable thumbs anyway.

Field Trip

I loved field trip day when I was in elementary school. The excitement of picking out your favorite outfit. Packing an extra special lunch and snack for the ride. Dreaming about what $5 gift you could purchase from the gift shop. Figuring out which best friend you would sit with on the bus on the way there. But then you had to have a back up because once you got there you were sure to have some sort of stupid fight about which one of you knows more Madonna songs during the boring cyclorama presentation and you didn't want to be sitting with the losers in the front of the bus with the chaperons.

Saturday, for all intents and purposes, was as close to a field trip as adults get in life. No kids running around (they weren't allowed), alcohol, gambling, and greyhounds! Really, what more could you ask for? It was the annual SEGA behind the scenes tour to the Birmingham Dog Track and this year's event boasted an attendance of 68 people!

The morning started out (after a 3.5 hour drive for our family) in the adoption kennel. Now, let's all take a moment and think this through. Even armature gamblers could see a sure thing in betting on the odds of 68 greyhound lovers going into an adoption kennel and at least one of them coming out with a dog. Yes, it happened. They are picking her up later this week after she's been fixed. I took a picture of my adoption kennel favorite: SpottyDottie. She is a little confused whether or not she is a greyhound or a Dalmatian. Maybe that's why she's retired.


After we had our fill of the adoption kennel, we moved on to Champions Racing Kennel to get a look at the how a functioning racing kennel works. Now with 68 die hard greyhound lovers, all of us with at least one four-legged couch potato on our sofa, we had plenty of questions. Here's what we learned, (for those of you who are greyhound experts, this will be a refresher):

• The dogs are fed a raw meat/ground kibble/supplement meal once a day - girls around 2lbs a day, boys around 3lbs a day
• In the kennel the females are kept on top crates and males on the bottom. Why? The girls jump better than the boys, and they want to preserve their family jewels.
• Music is pumped into the kennels 24/7 - our dogs preferred classic rock
• Dogs race every 3 days - winning dogs are tested for drugs after each race. Almost everything, even aspirin, is illegal for use in racing greyhounds
• They are turned out 4 to 5 times a day for 45 minutes a time - males and females are separated.
• They are loved and cared for in the kennel and all of the trainers we spoke with tirelessly look for homes for their dogs after their careers are over. We even talked to one trainer who has an owner that pays adoption groups $150 per dog that they will take in. Yes, we got his name.
  

After a few skritches and kisses and a lovely smile from Dream True (aka Smiley - can you tell why - that's not meanness, that's a grin), we were on our way to see the weigh in for the Saturday Matinee.


It was amazing to see the trainers and leads manage 8 dogs at once. Well, I guess that's why they call them professionals!


Before going upstairs, Kevin gave a wagering lesson to a few novices. It's the teacher in him, you know. And look what we brought as thank you gifts to the track. What better way to say thank you than with naked women?


No sack lunches here. Next it was up to the sky box for our lunch. Then it was time to place a few wagers and cheer on the pups. Every track has a funny name for their lure. In Birmingham, it's Smitty. Heeeeeeeeeeeeer Cooooooooooooooooooooomes Smitty.



Kevin and I weren't very successful until the seventh race. We decided to put our money on Flat Out Fallon, a distant sister of Flat Out Isha (they share a father). Fallon was our only winner for the day, and a big one at that. Maybe that's a sign?


It was hard to leave the pups behind. But we know our efforts are helping to place these babies into good homes when their careers are over. And spending money at the track helps to keep the track open - providing a place for the dogs to live and thrive. So many are put down when tracks are closed for even just the holidays because there is no where for them to go. I know it's a controversial topic and one that the greyhound community debates regularly. But the bottom line is, I wouldn't have my girl if it wasn't for the track. And who knows? One of these guys we saw on Saturday could end up on my sofa one day.

It was a fantastic field trip, despite the fact there wasn't a gift shop there for me to make a purchase. And the only squabble on this trip was over Miss Madonna, who did show in the second race and we didn't put a couple of dollars on her. All was forgiven and I didn't have to ride with the losers in the front of the bus on the way home.

The Dog Ate my Resolution

I'm not much one to make resolutions. Really, why make something that only makes you feel like a failure in the end? I've not had much luck with New Years resolutions ever. I've made all the normal ones - eat healthier, exercise more, write more letters - all of which I've kept for maybe 2 days at the most. But Seka has gotten out of practice walking on her leash, so this year my resolution was to walk her at least three times a week and quit taking the easy way out by running her in the backyard.

But much like humans, I think she knew of my plans and between her corn and her lucky foot, Seka has other plans for my resolution.

Yes, Seka has a lucky foot, where she has only three toes. Her lucky foot is the result of an old track injury that was undiagnosed (torn ligament) and untreated for four months. After we got her and she got comfortable with us (oh, say 2 days) she started not using her back left foot. Long story short - we took her to 4 vets, and the greyhound specialist at Auburn University - the vet amputated her toe and now she runs like the wind in the backyard (at least one lap a day).

Now when it gets really cold or there's any sudden change of weather, the missing space between her toes gets pretty arthritic and she goes right back into the old tri-pod trot. Since the new year, the three-legged dog walk has been pretty much par for the course around here.

We went to the vet, got some Metacam and it helps some. Upon closer inspection, it looks like she might be developing a corn on her lucky foot too (and that's the last thing we need). But she's a drama queen about that foot in general. My father was an amputee and he said he had phantom pain sometimes. I wonder if dogs have that?

Needless to say, my New Years resolution to practice our leash walking has been put on the back burner until we get this settled. Until then, we're still eating left over holiday cookies, fudge, and having an evening drink from entertaining liquor cabinet. I guess the GreytBlackDog will do her New Years resolution on a fiscal year basis in 2008, and not a calendar year.

PS: We're still foster-less. Not as many of the dogs were cat tolerant as we thought so we're still on the waiting list. Seka is ready and waiting for a new friend. Check out our new batch of babies we hauled in on Saturday.

Corn Dog

I remember being a little girl, practicing my latest tap routine in my Meamama's (that's what I called my maternal grandmother) kitchen and asking her to join in. Sometimes she would. Other times she would tell me that her corns were hurting her, and she wouldn't. Back then I wasn't sure what she meant. Were these imaginary friends shaped as corn cobs? Is that what she called her toes? Did her false teeth hurt? I really didn't know and I didn't bother to ask.

For the last six months, Seka has been hobbling around as a pesky little pebble grew on her back right pad. For the most part it didn't bother her while she ran in the soft grass in the back yard or walked around on the carpeted areas of the house. But if we walked on the concrete during our morning walks, route was cut very short and the whole event involved more hopping on three legs than actual walking. All of these are classic signs of corns, so after some close inspection, my suspicions were confirmed. It wasn't big and I tried to keep it soft by rubbing Bag Balm on it nightly, but the darn thing took on a life of its own and as of last week, it was nearly the size of the entire pad.


Handsome Dr. Slappy told me to get out the emery board and sand down the corn as it grew to keep it flush with the pad, which we've done. But last week, while I put off house work, I noticed that the darn corn was starting to peel off. In fact, I could run the edge of the tweezers around half of the circumference of the corn. She's let me pick at it and pick at it and it gets a little looser every day, but I'm a little concerned about picking it off completely. So, I'm trying to lift it off a little bit every day so it will heal underneath and continue to loosen up.

She definitely doesn't like me messing with her toe, but she tolerates it. She hasn't come right out and turned down an offer to tap dance with me yet, but I really don't want to wait until its hurting her so badly that she declines any potential future invitations.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The holidays offer a lot of fun traditions. Shopping. Presents. Consuming more sweets in a weeks time than you have all year. It's all a part of December that most everyone looks forward to, myself included. But for me, the best part of the holiday is making the daily trip to the mailbox, ignoring the bills and opening our holiday cards.

Now pretty much everybody we know has children (the two-legged kind). So, we get a lot of photo cards. Pictures of adorable kids, dressed in holiday finery, posed perfectly for the camera. Then you have the family group shots, where they are all dressed similarly, or at least they are color coordinated. And because dad had to be in the shot, the dress is casual.

My favorite shot this year is from our friends Adam and Kathy's son Simon. He looks like a child model. It helps when mommy is a photographer, but WOW! Check out that little bum!

No one has totally embarrassed themselves... yet. No one dressed up like the Grinch or an entire family in reindeer antlers, but it's bound to happen. There's still a couple of days left until the 25th. I'm sure they will all get a laugh out of the e-card they will get from our family on Christmas, which will include complete and total greyhound degradation. I'm just not sure what pose to go for. I continue to take lots of shots every day because I can't get the light right inside the house. I hope Santa isn't a greyhound. I'm sure he would think I've been very naughty forcing GBD to dress up like a deer and an elf (not to mention the naked photos people across the world will soon be hanging on their walls). Don't worry, she got plenty of treats in the process. Not like she helped clean the house or anything.

Oh, in the good news category. Charlotte was adopted this weekend by a nice family in Atlanta who recently lost one of their greyhounds. They have experience with shy pups and she will have a new greyhound brother to play with. It sounds like a perfect fit and I know she will be very happy. Merry Christmas, Charlotte. I'm so glad you will have a forever family of your own this Christmas. We will have a new foster in our house the week of January 5!

Puppy Envy

I've admitted it before, and she proved it true once again this weekend. Seka is a dog snob. She has nothing to do with any other breed of dog other than a greyhound. It is almost as if she doesn't recognize them as dogs, just as another furry thing that somehow exists in the universe and should never invade her space.

I'm not suggesting she's mean. She'll stand there and let every little dog jump up and inspect what's going on in her mouth. I've seen a whole litter of kittens use her tail as a toy, with teeth and claws extended while she just lays there. And she tends to watch the other big dogs at the dog park wrestle and chase, while she fetches her ball and steers clear of drool from "the others."

But this weekend one of those furry aliens invaded our home and needless to say Seka wasn't all that thrilled, but in true Seka style, she got over pretty quickly. We babysat our friend Ashley's nine-week-old mini-Pomeranian puppy over the weekend. His name is Prince Bailey, totally appropriate if you ask me. He looks like a cross between an Ewok, bunny rabbit and one of those Furbies that were popular in the early 1990s. No matter what you call him, he was darn cute.

We played for a few hours in the floor, while Seka safely watched from her favorite chair. He found the toy basket and dragged out every toy Seka has, every one of which was bigger than he was. I have to admit it was impressive to watch him drag around Seka's Kong which out weighed him by about 3 lbs. Every time Seka wanted to get down to get water or go out, she would look at me or Kev and wait until we picked up the little guy so he wouldn't chase her skinny legs, nip at her tail or accidentally get stepped on.

While Bailey was taking an afternoon nap on Saturday, we went to the local SEGA meet-n-greet. We showed up for the last hour since the darn corn on Seka's back foot is giving her trouble again and standing on hard floors gets hard after three hours for her. Most everyone had left due to the crummy weather, but she hung out with handsome Binder and met some nice families and educated people and how perfect greyhounds are. She even bought Bailey a Kong his own size - I mean any good Southern host buys a gift for their guest to make their stay more comfortable.

While Bailey Boy is super cute and a really good dog, a small dose of a puppy is all I needed. I haven't been around a puppy in a long time, but I haven't forgotten how much work they are. Whew! I'll take my couch potato any day. Someone hit that snooze button.

PS: Eagles are State Champs again. And App State are National Champs again. Great football weekend!

Religion

We live in the Bible belt. Every Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday night the churches in our town are full of faithful followers. The first question you're asked when you move to town is, "What church do ya'll go to?" It's just one of the ways they size you up to decide if they will associate with you or not. If you tell them you're Catholic, they back away slowly.

But whether you sit in the front or back pew, the one religion that everyone in the South can agree on is football. High school and college football to be specific. And this Friday night is a huge football night for my both of my Alma maters: Northside High School and Appalachian State University.

Northside High School is going for back-to-back state AAAA state championships. After a stunning comeback last week in the Georgia Dome, we travel to Waycross (the swamp) to play Ware County. It will be a good game and Kev and I will join some 10,000 Northside faithful in the 3.5 hour trip tomorrow for the game.

Also playing tomorrow night is Appalachian State University, who is going for an unprecedented back-to-back-to-back (that's right, three in a row) I-AA National titles. My sister will be there, texting us updates, while we provide her with updates on the high school game. It was a hard decision to make, but she'll have the family spirit there, while we cheer on the Eagles.

Even Seka loves her football. Hail Mary!